A MOTHER'S DICTIONARY!!
Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to
Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby
doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
Full Name: What you call your child when you're
mad at him.
Grandparents: The people who think your children are
wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a
Independent: How we want our children to be for as
long as they do everything we say.
Puddle: A small body of water that draws other
small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
Show Off: A child who is more talented than
Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's
pacifier by boiling it, and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it and
wiping it with saliva.
Top Bunk: Where you should never put a child
wearing Superman jammies.
Two-Minute Warning: When the baby's face turns red and she
begins to make those familiar-grunting noises.
Whodunit: None of
the kids that live in your house.